Lose You Not: (A Havenwood Falls Novel) Read online

  Considering everything, I felt like we were managing life quite well.

  Just as I pushed the cottage’s front door open, a loud splintering of wood followed by a scream came from behind me. I spun around just in time to see two bodies falling from a hole in the third-story turret and crashing through the glass ceiling of the conservatory just below it.

  Screaming, I sprinted across the lawn and tried to open the outside door to the conservatory, but it was jammed. Much of the large, glass room’s framework was made of copper piping, which they pumped steam through back in the day to heat the space, along with other metals for the fancy scroll work on the trim. Patina and tarnish had started to cover the metal, and rust had eaten some of it away, causing places to bend and deform, including around the door. Focusing my mind on the metal, I bent it out of the way, allowing the door to swing open. When Xandru’s brother Tase had triggered my moroi gene by giving me his blood, he’d passed on to me the Rocas’ ability to control metal. It came in handy sometimes.

  “Are you okay?” Xandru’s voice came from the shadows.

  I followed the sound, weaving around boxes, junk, and covered furniture stored in the conservatory to find him setting my little brother on his feet. They both stood in a broken hole in the wooden floor, next to a full-size replica of a knight holding his sword pointy end up—they’d missed it by mere inches.

  “Yeah, I think so,” Gabe said, his voice shaky.

  “You’re bleeding!” Pulling my hoodie off, I hurried over to him and pressed it to the gash in his head.

  “Is everyone okay?” Aurelia asked from the doorway to the inn.

  “Call an ambulance,” I ordered.

  “I said I’m okay,” Gabe argued.

  “You have blood gushing from your head!”

  Unfortunately, neither Xandru nor I could give him our blood to heal him. Because we were both mature (turned) moroi, doing so would trigger Gabe’s gene, and he was way too young for that. Thankfully, his blood didn’t incite any kind of thirst from Xandru or me. We had control over that part of us. Now, if Tase were here, it might have been a whole different story—he’d cursed himself to excruciating bloodlust when he triggered my gene.

  If I had any say, though, Atanase “Tase” Roca would never be around my brother or sister.

  “It doesn’t hurt.” Gabe shrugged. “Xandru caught me. It was really cool! I can’t wait until I’m turned.”

  I visually inspected the rest of his small-for-his-age body, but only found a couple of scratches. “I’d rather be safe than sorry.” I looked up at Xandru to find his pants and shirt splattered with wet marks. “Are you okay?”

  He shook his arms, pink gunk flying off his sleeve. “Besides whatever the hell this is? Yeah, I’m fine. I always land on my feet.”

  I ignored his cocky grin and grabbed Gabe by the shoulders, walking him over to sit on the step that led inside to the inn. “What happened?”

  He held his fist up and opened it to reveal a beaded bracelet. “I was trying to get this. It was inside the wall you put a hole in upstairs. But the wall broke more, and the next thing I knew, I was falling through it and down to the ground. Then Xandru was there, catching me right before we hit the ground. He’s right. We landed on our feet!” He looked over at the hole in the floor. “Sort of.”

  “I hate to say it, Ms. Petran, but your inn needs some repairs,” Xandru said, as he inspected what were obviously rotted floorboards.

  “You think?” I squatted next to Gabe, re-inspecting him even as he pulled away. He was more interested in his newly found treasure than any injury.

  He held the bracelet up in the waning light. “Do you think it’s valuable?”

  “Not as valuable as your life,” I muttered.

  A few moments later, the ambulance arrived. An EMT named Jordan took Gabe inside the truck to clean him up and do an evaluation. The wound wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d thought it was.

  “Heads bleed a lot,” Jordan explained as he hopped off the end of the ambulance. My vampire senses picked up on his scent with a tinge similar to Mike McCabe’s—mountain lion shifter. Mike was the local building contractor and had fixed the inn’s roof last month. I supposed I’d need to call him again. “He should be fine. He’s not showing any signs of a concussion, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to keep an eye on him throughout the night and tomorrow.”

  “Oh, thank god.” I blew out a sigh of relief.

  Gabe was fine. Thanks to Xandru. But what if he hadn’t been there to catch him? What if it had been worse? This inn was a danger zone. Worse than I had believed.

  Not long after the ambulance left, another visitor arrived.

  “I called the Court,” Xandru explained, wiping at a spot on his shirt. “So they could get a sample of this. Mammie told me it’s from a skinwalker, but I’m sure they’ll want to know more.”

  “I know I want to know more. Too bad it’s not Addie,” I said before we walked in to greet the male witch the Luna Coven had sent. “She would tell me everything.”

  The Luna Coven did all of the Court of the Sun and the Moon’s magical bidding. At least, that’s what many of the supes in town believed. Mammie, who’d sat on the Court for a short time, had let it slip once that there were some tasks the Luna Coven couldn’t dirty their hands with. Not when their High Council leaders also sat on the Court, which ruled the supernaturals in Havenwood Falls, protecting the humans and our secret. The more unappealing tasks were passed on to other, lesser covens in town.

  The middle-aged man was thorough in his inspection and collection of goo, which he stored in vials and dropped into his satchel, asking me questions I mostly didn’t have answers for. I didn’t think it possible for him to move any slower, but at least when he was done, he helped Xandru patch the hole in the turret with a flick of his wrist and a few chanted words.

  “We’ll test the samples and see what we can find out about this mystery person,” he said as we finally headed back downstairs. “If anything, maybe there are traces of Adelaide’s ink, which she can use to identify them. You all have a good evening now.”

  Yeah, right. I looked outside at the dark streets, and then at Xandru, and frowned.

  “It must be past midnight if the twinkle lights in the square are off.”

  He pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. “Twelve-oh-four, to be exact.”

  “Another date ruined,” I murmured as I scratched at a patch of dried skinwalker gunk on the back of my hand. I really needed a shower. We both did. “I’m so very sorry.”

  Giving me a smile, he shrugged. “Well, at least we were able to spend some time together, even if it wasn’t the perfect date.”

  “Do you think we’ll ever have a real second date?”

  He stepped in front of me and brushed his thumb over my cheek. “That I promise you, Michaela Petran.” He leaned down and brushed his full lips over mine. “But we don’t have to call it a night yet . . .”

  His mouth lingered on mine in a luscious kiss that I eventually had to pull away from before I collapsed from a lack of oxygen.

  “I’m gross,” I reminded him, taking a step back.

  He moved forward, closing the space I’d just put between us. “Me, too. We could clean up together.”

  “Hmm . . . that is tempting.”

  His fingers skimmed over my cheek and down my neck, producing a shiver. “But? I hear a but coming.”

  “But Gabe is in the cottage. There’s no privacy.”

  His hand cupped my chin, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was thinking what I was—there were plenty of other places we could have gone. Upstairs, in a guest room, for instance, since we had several vacancies. Or any of the other open cottages. But he didn’t say it, and neither did I. We hadn’t reached that place yet.

  I’d begun to wonder if we ever would.

  Instead, he kissed my forehead. “Try again tomorrow?”

  I gave him a smile, which I didn’t quite feel on the inside. �
�Yeah. Sure. Tomorrow.”

  But tomorrow didn’t come. At least, not in that sense.

  As had been the case for the last three months, every day brought new obstacles that kept us from having a real date . . . or any kind of relationship at all.

  Chapter 2

  Xandru

  “Didn’t expect you to be home,” Tase greeted as I trotted down the stairs after showering. “Date didn’t go so well?”

  “What are you doing here?” I headed for the bar cart in the sunken living room of the home we grew up in.

  It was a large, two-story log cabin, built and added on to over the years by our father, once he had money, made with illicit business dealings. The walls showed off the natural logs, and Mom had always favored dark colors, so the interior felt a lot like a cave—a cave in a tree trunk. Maybe someday, when my sisters were older, Alina or Aurora could have the house and update the décor to brighten up the place. Well, Aurora might. Alina would likely paint everything black, to match her heart.

  Tase stretched out on one of the leather sofas. “This is our home, bro.”

  I poured a glass of scotch. “You have your own place.”

  “So do you.”

  I snorted. I’d moved back here the day after our parents died and rented my place out. “We have a sister and brother still in high school. Someone has to be the adult around here.”

  He cocked his head. “Do you even know where they are?”

  Pausing, I took a sip of my drink and listened for Andrei’s and Aurora’s heartbeats. “Yeah. They’re in their rooms. Right where they’re supposed to be. Even Alina is.”

  Only Adrian was out of the house, but he was twenty-two and always stayed at the condo he bought in Havenstone.

  “What a good dad you are,” Tase taunted as he slow clapped.

  “Fuck off.”

  He pretended to be offended. “Is that any way to talk to your older brother?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I have to make a run to Montrose. Wanna ride with me?”

  In Tase-speak, a run meant dropping off or picking up something probably illegal, or dropping off or picking up payment for something probably illegal. As a family, the Rocas had several business interests, a couple on the right side of the law, such as the metal works company I ran. Then we each had something of our own. Besides the ski resort he bought a few years ago, Tase’s side interests tended to fall on the wrong side of the law. He, as well as our other siblings, liked to follow in our father’s not-so-good footsteps.

  Tase often made runs to Montrose. Located sixty miles away from Havenwood Falls on twisty mountain roads, it was the closest town with a population over a few thousand and a crossroads that led to Grand Junction and the closest interstate. I used to make the runs with him on occasion. Not my thing anymore.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Three hours in the car with you? Nah. I think I’ll pass.”

  He leaned forward and peered up at me. We had the same dark hair and olive skin, and strangers often mistook us for twins. That was a little ridiculous, but there was no mistaking we were brothers. His eyes were now a little greener than mine, though. If he turned full-on strigoi, they’d glow a lime green. The Luna Coven High Council predicted he had about a year, eighteen months if their magic held. Perhaps enough time for Addie to find or create a counter-curse.

  Perhaps not.

  “What the hell’s gotten into you, bro?” Tase asked. “You and I were a team.”

  “A team?” I scoffed. He was a distraction when Michaela was gone. Now he was trouble. “We haven’t been a team since the moment you sold out to someone else and turned Michaela behind my back. You made me your unwilling sidekick. Someone to keep you company.”

  “Yeah, well, keep me company now. What else are you going to do? Sit in your room pining for Michaela and jerking off? That’s not like you.” He paused and glanced upward, as though he could see the upstairs bedrooms. “If you don’t go, I’ll ask Alina or Andrei. I know they’d love to come.”

  I growled. The last thing I needed was any of our younger siblings getting involved in his business, especially those who were still human and therefore a lot more breakable. If I had any say, Tase himself wouldn’t be involved in his own business. Not this kind, anyway. He needed to focus on his legit shit, like the ski resort.

  “You suck,” I said, before throwing back the rest of the scotch and savoring the burn. “You know that’s not happening.”

  “So you’re going with me?”

  “Will it get us arrested? Or in trouble with the Court? Because that’s not an option.” For a few different reasons.

  Tase smirked. “Not if we don’t get caught.”

  Against my better judgment, I acquiesced and went to my room to throw on jeans and a T-shirt. Ten minutes later, Tase’s late-model Camaro SS turned onto Main Street toward the only highway out of town. As we passed the inn, I couldn’t help but notice which lights were on in the cottage and the inn. Michaela was still up. I wasn’t surprised. We were nocturnal creatures.

  At one time, those lights would have been all the invitation I needed. At one time, she would have been happy to see me show up at her door unexpectedly. At one time, I knew exactly how she felt and how she’d react.

  Now, though, I felt like I knew nothing.

  And I didn’t want to assume. Michaela had changed while she was gone, off in the big city on the far side of the country. Hell, I’d changed, and I hadn’t gone anywhere. We were supposed to have grown and changed together, but that hadn’t happened. Choices had been made for us, with no consideration for what we wanted. Especially for her. After everything she’d been through, I didn’t want to push her into anything that I couldn’t be sure she wanted.

  So, instead of sitting on the couch with her, watching a movie or doing much more interesting things, here I was, making a run with my brother, smuggling only he knew what, because I wasn’t about to ask. Some things were better left unknown.

  When we pulled into a parking lot in front of a row of warehouses in Montrose and I smelled human blood, it became clear that it was a good thing I’d come.

  As vampires, we craved blood. It sustained our bodies. Human blood tasted best—like heaven, actually—but animal blood served our needs just as well. As moroi vamps, we could still consume—and quite enjoy—regular food and drink, too. We were mortal, born human with a gene that made us prone to vampirism. When our gene was triggered, we turned. Although it was difficult to kill us, it wasn’t impossible.

  Human blood called to us louder than sirens called to their victims, and just one drop could send us into a frenzy. But unlike other vamps, we couldn’t indulge in our true nature. Because each time we killed a human, the need for human flesh and blood escalated until it’d eventually drive us mad and turn us into strigoi. Strigoi were immortal predators. Nearly impossible to kill, they murdered for the thrill of it. Strigoi were true monsters.

  The rulers of Havenwood Falls didn’t tolerate strigoi. Any signs of a moroi becoming one meant death by execution.

  This was why Tase had a death sentence hanging over his head. When he triggered Michaela’s gene against her will, he caused a curse that had been on her family to jump to ours. The Luna Coven had managed to extricate the curse from the rest of us and instill it only in Tase—a curse meant to drive him to become strigoi. They also spelled him to suppress the urges, but that was a stop-gap, to buy time until they found a way to break the curse completely. If they didn’t find one soon, though, it was only a matter of time before he lost all control.

  We all grew up knowing about our heritage. Triggering our moroi gene was a ritual the Roca kids looked forward to for years, until we graduated high school and were finally old enough. Unlike the Petrans. While Michaela and her siblings knew what their parents were, the Petrans had always acted like their kids were too good to become vampires. Now we knew the curse on them was the reason, but my father had always mocked how they tried to deny w
hat they were by drinking in secret. We grew up exposed to blood, all different kinds, human and animal. Even before I’d turned, I could smell the faintest traces on the air.

  As soon as Tase parked the car in front of the warehouse in Montrose, the sweet scent slammed into me, making my mouth water.

  He smelled it, too. A growl rumbled in his chest.

  “I don’t think you should go in,” I said before he could open the door.

  “I have to make the pickup.”

  “Just let me run in and grab it. Stay in the car.”

  “No!” he nearly shouted. “It has to be me. Just cover me, okay?”

  Pausing, I gripped the door handle. “Who are these people? Do they know about you and the curse? Is this a game they’re playing?”

  His jaw muscle popped as he stared at the door, his leg bouncing up and down. “If it is, they lose.”

  “Tase—”

  “Xandru, I smell a human female in there, bleeding out. And I’m this fucking close to finishing her off.” He turned to look at me, his eyes glowing a brighter green than I’d seen them yet, his finger and thumb nearly touching. “You got my back or not?”

  Then, in a blur, he was out of the car and throwing open the metal door with a flick of his hand before he’d even reached it. I shot out of the car and blurred inside, but I was still barely in time. A girl in her early twenties sat tied to a chair in the middle of the empty warehouse, blood pooled around her feet and Tase already at her throat, gulping like an animal.

  “No!” I flew at him and yanked him off of her, throwing him several yards away. He landed in a crouch, glaring at me with those bright green eyes. “Control yourself, damn it!”

  His nostrils flared, but he appeared to be holding his breath, the only way he’d be able to overcome the bloodlust. He had to overcome the bloodlust. If he gave in and killed her, it’d be that much easier to do it again the next time. And then the next, and then he’d be fast on his way to becoming strigoi and an unstoppable killing machine. The Court would be forced to kill him.